As you all know, I’m obsessed with Schitt’s Creek to the point where I’m writing fanfiction for it. (You knew this was coming.) CBC/Pop! just released a full-length trailer today and it has made January 24th feel like an eternity away. It’s a great trailer (Watch it here!) that highlights all our favorite parts of the show and I want to dissect each individual part because I can’t stop screaming.
- Dead Guy in Room 4 – Admittedly, I know what this refers to because I saw this episode at VultureFestLA, but oh my god am I excited for everyone to see how this unfolds.
- Alexis at Elmdale College – Alexis as a (community) college girl is just aces. This is a girl who would’ve loved some big Division I party school or super expensive liberal arts school but instead she’s stuck at some rinky-dink college in nearby Elmdale.
- David & Patrick’s Relationship – You knew this was coming. This is David’s longest relationship (and Patrick’s first!) and that really says a lot about my baby! He’s growing up! And things are good! Patrick apparently sends David a 4-month-iversary giant heart-shaped cookie before learning this fact. And from my constant rewatches of season 3’s “Grad Night”, this move says a lot about Patrick too. (Recap: David’s upset his family forgot his birthday and says to a customer that he wishes everyone took special days seriously.) Look at what Patrick’s doing!!! I’m just saying!!! (Also, all the serious heart-eyes that are happening? Murder me.)
- Alexis Graduating from College – Marketing and Pubic Relations. I smell an uphill college administration battle for Alexis and I am here. for. it.
- “It’s television’s Moira Rose!” – Moira is always at her best when she’s trying to make the best of a shitty (ha!) situation and returning to acting. Who could ever forget the fruit wine commercial? Catherine O’Hara is a goddess and I cannot wait to see what bizarre performance she’s cooked up this time.
- Alexis has… friends? – Alexis is trying to bond with Stevie and a woman at the motel’s counter. Alexis and Stevie haven’t really had many scenes alone together, if any. The possibility that talking about how Zac Efron was a booty call is her idea of ‘female bonding’ is sooo Alexis.
- Everyone’s Here!! – Moira, Johnny, David, Alexis, Roland, Stevie, Ted, and Pa… Patrick. The first six were a given. I’m so thrilled that not only is Noah Reid (Patrick) sticking around, but so is Dustin Milligan (Ted). They’re both such excellent foils to David and Alexis, respectively. Crossing my fingers for season regular promotions!
- Roland & Johnny – There is no such thing as too much Chris Elliott, especially when he’s being gross. Nope. Not possible.
Things I want to happen this season:
- David and Patrick to not break up ever because I don’t think my heart could take it
- Alexis confidently turning down a date with a guy she’s attracted to because she’s a strong independent woman and she don’t need no man
- Moira doing some sort of cabaret show where she just does different characters or some weird showcase thing
- More Johnny/Stevie motel co-owners shenanigans. (We took a “Which Schitt’s Creek Character Are You?” quiz and my boss who introduced me to the show is Johnny and I’m Stevie so you can understand my affinity to this relationship.)
- I want Patrick to get a last name!
- Tension between Alexis and whoever Ted hires as his new assistant. But not like, romantic tension. Career tension. Because I’m here for career-driven Alexis.
- She’s at the end of the trailer, but I love Ronnie (Karen Robinson) and I hope we get more of her.
- Will anyone remember who Gwen is? Probably not.
- Rizwan Manji’s Ray has another business. Some suggestions: salmon migration, Faberge egg decorating, screen printing and embroidery. Or his business starts to rival Rose Apothecary. (Does Patrick still work at Ray’s? ‘Cause that would be awkward.)
- Have I mentioned David & Patrick? I just need more of them always.
Schitt’s Creek returns to CBC in Canada on January 9th and to Pop! in the US on January 24th.